Lancement du 1er Club Toastmasters Côte d’Azur http://www.toastmasters-cote-azur.com le 6 octobre à Vence envoyer msg pour s’inscrire
Archive for September, 2009
Lauch the 1st Toastmasters Club on the French Riviera http://www.toastmasters-cote-azur.com on October 6th in Vence
In my previous post entitled “The Secret to Getting What You Want in Negotiations” I introduced you to the 6 principles of persuasive communication:
- Commitment & Consistency
- Social Proof
I would now like to share with you another way to harness the power of the principle of Reciprocation in your communications and negotiations. If you would like to influence someone in a positive way, it is important for you to realize that you should act first.
Before trying to get someone to do something for you, you should do something for them.
Have you ever wondered why some organizations like Reader’s Digest and some charitable organizations send you something for free when they ask you to sign up for a subscription or a donation? This is because research has proved that you are more likely to do something for someone if they have done something for you first.
In a business context, this means that before you ask someone to do something for you such as agreeing to a budget increase or agreeing to a contract, you should do something to genuinely advance their business prospects. This might mean giving them access to an important report, giving them a topical book as a gift, providing them with the latest research, inviting them to a seminar or anything else that may be relevant within your specific business environment.
Remember, the way the principle of reciprocity works is that we are very likely to return to others the form of behavior that they exhibit towards us. So if I am genuinely advancing your business interests, then I will make it significantly more likely that you will respond in kind by advancing my business interests.
Every time that I have worked with an organization I have uncovered opportunities for them to use the principle of reciprocation to advance their business interests.
Does this ever happen in your organization? You and / or your organization often provide your counterparts either within your own organization or in external organizations with advice, products and services outside of the scope of your agreements. In other words, you go above and beyond the call of duty in the way that you deal with your relationships.
Then, when you are thanked for your efforts, do you (like most individuals) respond simply by saying something like: “You are welcome, I am happy that I was able to help you out”? If you typically respond this way, then you routinely miss the opportunity to get the principle of reciprocity working for you. You will be happy to learn that there is a way that you can use this kind of opportunity to harness the principle of reciprocity to make it significantly more likely that your counterpart will act in support of your interests in future. Here’s what I recommend you should do when you are thanked for your efforts: Instead of saying “You are welcome, I am happy that I was able to help you out”, you should say something like: “You are welcome, I was glad to help you because I know that if the situation was reversed, you would do the same for me.”
In my recommended example, you are registering the fact that a genuine favor was extended to your counterpart by creating an expectation that you would expect the same behaviour in return. I often see companies providing their clients with free services over and above what they are contracted to provide or deliver.
This is a good practice but unfortunately, most of the time, there is little if any benefit associated with doing this. If your counterparts do not expect that you will be asking for something in exchange for that which you provide, then they will just think of it as part of the service that they have already paid for.
You see, people will treat us in life according to how we allow them to treat us… If we have trained our customers / suppliers or other stakeholders that they only have to ask us and we will provide without expecting anything in return, then we shouldn’t be surprised if they ask for it often! So next time that you do something for anyone that is above and beyond the call of duty, make sure that you use the principle of reciprocity to advance your own business prospects.
Remember, the whole system works better when those who give also receive something in return. The premise for negotiation is that it should be an exchange – that is the only sure way that collaborative relationships can endure for long periods and withstand all the pressures of conflicting interests that arise from time to time. For more information on creating a world class negotiation capability, click here to take a look at our Executive Negotiation Workshop.
- For 2 registered participants, we offer a third registration (accommodations still at your charge).
Congratulations to the Germans for their tremendous organization in Mannheim!!! Don’t miss the next PSA UK Convention in Marlow #GSA09
How can you get people to agree? http://wp.me/pxMrh-M
If you think about it, you could say that the reason most of us feel the need to negotiate with anyone else is so that we can find a way to get what we want. Being human, we all believe that our point of view is important and that others should at least consider seeing things our way. If you had no needs or wants, there would be little reason for you to negotiate with anyone.
What then is the best way for you to get other people to agree with you?
How can you convince other people to favorably consider your recommendations and proposals?
Believe it or not, there is a science – yes a science, supported by more than 60 years of research that has evolved our understanding of the use of influence and persuasion to satisfy our needs and wants. The world’s leading authority on the science of persuasion, Dr Robert Cialdini, one of the most famous speaker, has identified 6 principles of persuasive communication in his research:
- Commitment & Consistency
- Social Proof
Whilst persuasion & influence will always be an art, it is incredibly helpful to harness the power of the 6 principles uncovered by science to maximize your chances of persuading others to give you what you really want.
To assist you in being more persuasive in your communications and negotiations, I will be covering each of the 6 principles of persuasion and their application in the coming weeks.
Let’s start by looking at what I believe to be the most important principle from a negotiation point of view – reciprocation.
Reciprocation means that as humans we return to others the form of behavior that they exhibit towards us. In other words, if you have done me a favor, then I should do you a favor. If you invite me to your birthday party, then I should respond by inviting you to my birthday party. If you make a concession to me in negotiation, then I should make a concession to you.
Interestingly, research into what makes people happy with their negotiation outcomes points to getting concessions from their counterpart as the biggest single contributor to them feeling satisfied with a negotiation.
So what does this mean to you and how can you use it to get what you want? Here’s how:
Ensure that when you negotiate you ask for a little more than you would be satisfied to receive.
Let’s say you are selling a widget and you would like to receive $ 100 for the widget. If you want to apply the principle of reciprocation, then you should start by asking for a little more – let’s say you start by asking for $ 105.
If your counterpart does not agree to paying you $ 105 for the widget, then you are able to make a concession by lowering your price to $ 100 in return for your counterpart also making a concession to you. A concession that your counterpart could make in this case could be to pay you cash on the spot or to take care of shipping etc…
The key is for you to go ahead and make the concession – don’t wait for your counterpart to make a concession. Just make sure that you use the word ‘if’ when you offer your concession:
“If you are prepared to pay me in cash right now, then I could reduce the price from $ 105 to $ 100”. This way you give an indication to your counterpart that you are prepared to be flexible and you will now significantly increase the likeliness of them also being flexible and offering a concession in return.
Just be sure to use this principle ‘in the moment’ whilst you are negotiating. If you went away from a negotiation to review your proposal, your counterpart will be more likely to regard your revised offer as a new proposal, not as a concession!